Why Communicating Your Feelings Is the Hardest Thing You’ll Ever Do And Why It’s Totally Worth It
It’s scary as hell to say how you feel. But you have to face the other side of fear someday.
“It’s a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you’re hurt.”
— Tom Gates
Communication — a tool that can set you free. Words unspoken when finally out in the open feels like a burden lifted off your chest.
But what if we don’t want to say how we feel. What if we thrive on uncertainty because not knowing feels comforting? What if we are scared of outcomes and thus we choose to keep things to ourselves?
Ultimately, the cat does come out of the bag and with a heavy price.
Feelings can make or break us. They can help us take the leap towards our growth or ensure we suffer in guilt. That guilt of eating too much or that rejection can drown us in a world of pain. But let me tell you that more than anyone else making us feel miserable about our feelings, we cause ourselves more damage than someone else.
Because most of the time, we choose to live in our heads. It’s safer to survive the storm alone rather than let anyone else know how we feel. If we express ourselves, we fear judgement and most importantly we are afraid of losing people we love.
But for how long will we live in our heads? At some point the dam of emotions will burst.
If you choose to communicate, you are choosing to be vulnerable. And that is one of the bravest things we can do for ourselves.
Expressing feelings comes with a host of reactions. It could mean stepping away from people. It could mean people leaving you. It could also mean finally understanding those who genuinely wish to stay with you, accept your ugly side and walk along to the next phase of your life.
I for one go through peaks of unworthiness. I look up to my friends to knock some sense into me. Living in your 30s, if you have friends of the same age going through similar situations, hold on to those people. They are priceless.
These friends uplift me. They never back away from sharing a few motivational pep talks. They don’t infuriate or call me agony aunt. Rather they remind me of who I am and why I am special to them.
I could choose to keep all these emotions bottled up. But I rather share my emotional mess with them. Sharing about my one sided crushes, forbidden fantasies, jaw dropping romance novel recommendations and just making them laugh with witty humour, they have seen every shade of me. But this wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t open up to them.
It’s scary. It’s scary to be honest and just say how you feel about things. But no matter how many times we feel we are the only ones who feel this way, you are wrong. There has to be one more soul who feels what you feel. But like you, they too are scared.
Don’t fear to communicate. Communicate no matter the consequences. If people leave, they never had your best intentions. But those who stayed, even if one person stayed, that’s better than those 10 friends who pretend to have your back but are awaiting your downfall.
Thanks so much for your time!