When You Set Off to Find Yourself — Life Reveals Unexpected Answers

Pursue living your authentic self and with time everything will make perfect sense.

Sujona Chatterjee
3 min readMar 22, 2023
Photo by lucas Favre on Unsplash

“People who have had little self-reflection live life in a huge reality blind-spot.”
― Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life

We all go through phases in life. Some tough, some fun. Some filled with mistakes and some where we spend countless hours with ourselves to reflect and heal. And this one is the toughest.


Because whether we like it or not, we have to face our truth, our mistakes. We have to confront how we truly feel about situations and that requires a lot of courage. Courage to see yourself as you are. No filter.

But here is what happens through this cathartic phase of our life. We begin to truly identify who we are, what we are willing to tolerate and what we are not ready to compromise for anyone.

As we age, we grow wiser. This year I will be turning 31. But the moment I hit 30, life just changed. People left, some stayed and those who stayed made me realise who really stands by you and who was just pretending all this while. Life gave me all those answers I was seeking from life and somehow everything that I thought was my truth was indeed a lie.

The things we assume to be true all our lives when we are teens or in our twenties, changes the moment we cross 30. For me what is reality and what was hiding behind a filter was as clear as water. This is what we realise when we let time do all the work, stay patient with our thoughts and feelings and find what drives us. Somehow in the background, things take shape and when the time is right, everything unfolds giving us a clearer picture of why things happened the way they did.

Then in this process, we reflected on our values. We took a good look in the mirror and finally decided to be unapologetic for what we are. The beautiful mess, the opinionated soul, the one who wants to step back from all the drama and just live in our own cocoon. The decision is ours and no one has the right to question it.

Wait, let me tell you a true fact. The moment you accept your authentic self and choose to live by it, people will leave. So be ready for a lot of drama that you didn’t expect. It will be tough and you will question everything. But stick through it. And those who remain are the ones who will push you ahead in life. Those kinds of people will only reveal themselves when you start valuing yourself.

So, you see, not settling for anything lesser than your values wasn’t an easy feat. You fell, cried buckets and went on a journey to find yourself. So after all that hard work, there is no way you’re going to be someone else, conform to someone else and most importantly, agree to walk on someone else’s ideals and commands.

This will lead to walking a path in life which is unconventional. Every day you will question where you are headed as you’re not aligned with the timeline of others. It’s scary and you will wonder, ‘why me?’

But now you know how to deal with this. You have been through hell and back. You will focus on activities that give you peace and let life unfold in the background. Because questioning never helped in finding answers in this journey called life. What works is staying busy, breathing and being your beautiful self. And ultimately, one day, every no that you had to say, every person that you had to let go and every turned down opportunity will be worth it.

Thanks so much for your time!



Sujona Chatterjee

Living life the only way I know how — one day at a time.