We all have heard the phrase, ‘the heart wants what it wants’. Sometimes it wants something so bad that it could ruin us forever. It’s as if you forget all your morals, you forget your purpose. You forget how far you have come in life. You forget all your progress and just want what the heart wants.
Such an obsession, we all know, is unhealthy. And yet we cannot stop ourselves. It’s as if you cannot find meaning in your life, until you get what your heart desires.
There is always a good and bad, upside or flipside, pros and cons for everything. While pursuing some goals, we have to work on what we love and some things we don’t love that come along in the path of pursuing our goals. But goals that fuel our growth and lead to a positive consequence in life are healthy. But some goals are not what we aim to achieve. Some goals come up unintentionally and such goals are a result of emotions and not intentions.
The human mind and body is fascinating. It is triggered by the smallest of events. You see someone and your heart beats faster. You cry by just listening to someone else’s pain. You sometimes don’t understand why you behave the way you do. The only way to seek answers is looking at your past.
When you are grappled by feelings that you cannot make sense of, we must sit and reflect on where such toxic and powerful emotions are stemming from. Anything that turns into a negative obsession that just feels good at first but leads to our ruin is a consequence of unresolved past trauma. This trauma we don’t realise in the present. It takes conscious effort that requires sitting with yourself, writing about how you feel and then be brave enough to accept the reality of your emotions.
Not all obsessions are bad. But what we must be careful of is that is the obsession helping you become a better individual or is it taking you down. You will realise how you feel with time. But what we don’t wish to do is put an end to it because of how good it feels for a short period of time.
I get terrible book hangovers. It’s so bad sometimes that I cannot think about anything rationally for a few days. All I feel like doing is living in that story and not thinking or doing anything else. This seems like a good obsession until I have to force myself to accept my reality. So, somewhere my self-consciousness knows where my downfall is but it’s on me to take actionable steps to do something concrete and get over this hangover eventually.
But some obsessions don’t feel like one until someone spots it for you. Only someone looking from the outside in can make sense of your changing behaviour. When this happens, beware and don’t just deflect what people are trying to tell you. Remember the best people are those who call out your mistakes and not the ones who tell you everything is alright.
The people who truly wish for your growth are willing to work along your emotions, help you figure out your next path and be your biggest motivator in your healing process.
So if your heart wants what it wants, it also knows if what it wants is good or bad for you. It always does. But it’s you that doesn’t want to see things for what they are just because it feels good for that particular moment.
But let me tell you from personal experience, a short lived boost of happiness invites years of pain. I rather have an obsession that seems bloody hard in the beginning that leaves me miserable for weeks but eventually will lead me to a lifetime of happiness.
So beware, focus on the reality check signals that your heart tells you about even though that obsession tells you otherwise.
Thanks so much for your time!