My Insecure Boyfriend — Self-belief

Here is how I turned my insecure boyfriend into a stable and loving husband.

Photo by Katrina Wright on Unsplash

Everyday we wake up with a set of intentions. It could be to get a healthy hour of exercise, pay bills, meditate, meet friends, catch up on that pending book list and so on. Some we complete, some tasks get lost somewhere as other tasks come up. And sometimes we just don’t get around completing any of those things. When we hit the bed at night and ponder over everything that transpired during the day, we have a sinking pit in our stomach. And to tell you about myself, my self-belief takes a massive blow.

I often consider self-belief as my insecure boyfriend. It’s there somewhere within but at times it just ghosts me. When it returns, it fills me up with joyful hormones leaving me with a glow all day long and that disappears as soon as the sun rises again.

It feels as if that boyfriend pleases me only when it’s suitable to him and the rest of the days, I must fend for myself. But that’s how my self-belief wavers from time to time.

So, what do I do about it?

I try harder. Set intentions that don’t tear me apart if I cannot fulfil them and most importantly be compassionate towards myself as life is unpredictable. And the only way to live it to the fullest is to go with the flow.

Self-belief, I realised, is within us. It’s committed to us in ways that we don’t realise until we succeed in our endeavours. But this has to change. We need to associate self-belief in a manner that isn’t dependent only on completion of milestones. Rather it should form a steady relationship that makes us feel secure. And thus I decided to turn my insecure boyfriend into a husband. Here is how:

Keep the flame of self-belief alive through journaling — The best and fastest way to get in touch with yourself is writing down everything that bothers us. As I vent in my journal my self-belief stems from the core of my body and then formulating it to words and then putting it on the paper. All we need is stillness, a pen and paper.

Celebrating the small wins while doing the unintended — So often we deviate from our tasks not because we slacked off. It’s because something more important emerged and we couldn’t get away from it. Instead of realising what we missed, we need to focus on what we got done. Self-belief then emerges as a supportive husband cheering you on when you need it the most.

Read or listen to stories that you love — When I feel tired and lost, I turn to books and podcasts. Sometimes I use them as a medium to escape. It’s nothing wrong to take time off from your reality. Rather its essential to detach and seek solace in knowing that if others had the will to fight then so can you. Find what stems that feeling of passion in you and self-belief will rise.

It’s your life and you can have a steady and strong relationship with self-belief. Find what drives you and it could be in the most simplest activities. People looking at you from a distance may feel you’re just engaging in a hobby. But, you’re taking out time to form a stable relationship with yourself. And what better way to do that by getting in touch with your self-belief that will never ever leave you.

Thanks so much for your time!