How Not Feeling Enough Helped Me Build Immense Amounts of Confidence
Look beyond the devil of self-doubt and grab that gold medal of self-confidence.
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“If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self.”
— Napoleon Hill
“Tomorrow, you will be explaining this part of the chapter to the entire class”.
These were the words of my junior college psychology teacher. I didn’t know how to react, and the worst being, I couldn’t say ‘no’. Even if I begged or pleaded, she wouldn’t give in, and so I had to bite my tongue and accept her request.
The point is, back then, I felt I was nobody. Why would a class full of sixty students pay attention to anything I have to say? This thought made me feel worthless, and I just wanted to skip the lecture the next day.
When I reached home, I told my mom about this new task forced upon me by my teacher, and she just laughed, looking at my’ about to cry face’. I wanted to scream, but she politely explained how I must use this to break free from my thoughts and go and have fun. She told me to focus on the content, pretend that I am teaching an empty class and cut away external noise.
This is what I did. I researched the topic. I presented my lecture in front of the bathroom mirror and somehow found it in me to attend the class.
As my turn arrived, I could feel the intense urge to throw up. I kept gulping down my saliva and took deep breaths. I then pretended that the class was empty and poured my heart and soul while explaining my designated topic.
What happened next was unexpected. People wanted me to continue teaching. The teacher thought I had prepared for the next topic and wanted me to keep going. My peers didn’t know this side of me existed.
When I reached home, stepped into the shower, and let the warm water calm my nerves, I thought that if I didn’t feel good enough, I would have never pushed myself to try something new and feel confident about myself.
Life Always Presents Countless Opportunities
You see, life, through its unexpected twist of events, presents us with nerve-racking opportunities. Before we even think that we can accomplish and emerge victorious in this given opportunity, we feel that we aren’t even good enough for them. We keep questioning, ‘why did anyone even think I am capable of this new task?’ we never feel we are worthy of someone else’s trust in us, and thus we don’t feel confident.
But only when we force ourselves to look beyond our self-created assumptions, only when we choose to fight through our nerves, do we manage to gain the confidence that we never thought we could imbibe.
Feeling not good enough is not always bad when a new opportunity knocks on our door. We must change our perspective and feel confident even though we think we may fail miserably.
It’s like taking the risk and ordering something new on the menu and praying that you made the right choice. If you did, you now know yourself better; if it wasn’t as good as you expected, now you know what you must take care of the next time the same opportunity comes your way.
Don’t Let Your Self-doubt Emerge Victorious
Often when we lack something in us, the universe will present to us unique situations. That’s the universe’s way to instill in us the qualities that we lack without even realizing what the universe is trying to teach us.
But before we even allow the universe to help us, we think only in the short term as we fear embarrassment. We don’t want to mess with our comfort zone and then crib over the fact that we aren’t confident enough to deal with challenging situations.
Being confident enough to talk to someone unknown, to feel confident enough to make your point understood, and to ask what you truly deserve, all these situations also demand that you feel confident in your skin. To ensure that you feel confident, we face surprising events every day.
But we back out from understanding our true potential as we think we aren’t good enough to make decisions or believe that we will be heard. The ‘not feeling enough’ devil indeed emerges victorious. But this victory can be short-lived if we take that one bold step and live up to each small challenge.
Thus, next time you don’t feel enough about anything that comes your way, stop and think. It may be an opportunity to feel more confident about it. It is an opportunity to prove that all your doubts are in your head. That self-doubting devil is our creation. All we need to do is shut all external noise, take that leap and run towards the finish line feeling confident enough to stand on the podium and receive the gold medal of confidence.
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