Don’t Feel Guilty for Having More Than One Version of You
You are not fake, you are just the best version of you based on the circumstance you are in.
“I think we all have different personalities… and even in relationships, we can be called psycho, and we can be called sweet, based on what the person feels about you.”
— Ava Max
We all have more than one version of ourselves. Which version we choose to reveal is on us. It totally depends on the person we are with and the situation we are in.
People look at me as an extrovert. I don’t blame them as I love talking to people and learning more about them. What fuels them, what stories they keep hidden. What challenges they have overcome. Just listening to their journey gives me countless lessons that I store somewhere special in my long-term memory. This version I choose to reveal when I am in public.
But there is a version that I keep hidden. A version that is only revealed in front of my family. That version chooses to be left alone and I zone out in books and the words I write. The world doesn’t recognise me, and I don’t recognise the world. This version fuels me and gives me the energy to be my extroverted self. It’s more of a recharge and rejuvenate version which no one knows about.
Most often then people would say, does it mean you’re not who you are in front of people?
That is not correct.
We all have so many contrasting and unique qualities. That makes us special, and we can thrive in public with those special qualities. These qualities also act as a filter to people. Those who understand all your unique shades become your true friends. The rest are just pretending to be your confidant when in reality they are with you for their selfish reasons.
Your contrasting shades are attractive. But unfortunately the people who find these shades attractive in us, we don’t find them attractive. It’s hurtful, I know. But we are not to blame. Just as everyone cannot like us, we cannot like everyone. But what we must remember is that our contrasting qualities or our different personalities is who we are. We are not pretending. We are just being ourselves depending on what the circumstance demands from us.
What I have realised over the years is that we aren’t born with these different personalities. We learn by observing people as we grow. Our parents, relatives, peers, fictional characters, people whom we begin to admire, all of them shape a part of our unique personality that we are today. We pick those behaviours or mannerisms that work for us and that’s how we humans are.
So, in the process if you have two, three or a million sides to you, that’s not you lying about who you truly are. That’s you putting your best self forward depending on what life is demanding from you at any given moment.
Therefore, if you are battling about who you truly are, why are you different in different situations, wondering if it is right to be this way, don’t fret. Don’t feel guilty for you not being your authentic self.
The reality is that you are the real you. The real you that is demanded when life throws its unique situations at you.
But what you must do is reflect on each version of you. Strengthen all these beautiful personalities. Choose which personality can help you thrive and then champion other’s strengths from your learning. Because in the process of uplifting others, unknowingly you learn a lot about yourself. And only when you begin to understand yourself you will know which side of yourself to reveal at any given moment.
Thanks so much for your time!